Bad Santa
by Jmaka
Summary: Lorelai rooks Luke into playing Santa at the town party. He later finds out why.


Okay, here is my auction story. After giving Boom the honor of the first read, she gave the go-ahead to post this bad boy. Hope you all enjoy it! And Boom, the cookies are on their way!

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Bad Santa

"Good night, you two!" Miss Patty smirked at the pair. "And thank you," as she leaned closer to Luke, he stepped back. Her eyes flickered over him, "Santa."

Lorelai giggled, "Night Patty." She tugged Luke's arm and guided him out of the studio.

There was only a light dusting of snow on the ground but the sidewalks and streets were clear and dry so the steady jingling of bells of Lorelai's shoes filled the cold air as they walked home.

"That was fun!" Lorelai gushed.

"What party were you at?" Luke shot back incredulously.

"Aw c'mon," she snuggled closer to Luke, rubbing her cheek on the red jacket. "You were a terrific Santa this year."

Luke rolled his eyes at her. He thought back to what had started this all. Since they had gotten married, he had gotten better at picking his battles, developing an instinct about when to put his foot down and when to cut and run, but he didn't have a chance with this one. He'd always flat-out refused to participate in town events. Lorelai usually understood and never forced the issue but a few weeks previous she'd gotten it into her head that he would play Santa at Miss Patty's Christmas party and nothing was going to deter her.

He had to admit she had been both persistent and devious in her attempts to wear him down. She'd promised everything from eating healthier to, horror of horrors, cutting back on her coffee. Luke didn't believe her and even though she'd made good on those promises to prove she would do it, he remained steadfast in his refusal. Then she resorted to blackmail, vowing to withhold her "favors" from him until he gave in. Since he knew she had as much of a problem keeping her hands off as he did, that one didn't last longer than a day. Finally she had brought out the big guns.

"You have to be Santa!" she had declared. "You can't disappoint the kids!"

"Anyone can play Santa," he'd countered. "Do you really think any kid will be upset if I didn't play Santa?"

"Sookie's kids would," she'd pointed out. "She told me last year when Jackson played Santa somehow they ended up on your lap." Lorelai told him she'd wished she'd been there to see that but she didn't feel right attending the party with Chris. "And what about Steve and Kwan? What will they think if their godfather refuses? They'll be heartbroken."

"They won't be heartbroken," Luke had returned gruffly, hoping his less than sunny demeanor would show her he wasn't Santa material.

"Doula would," Lorelai stated quietly, staring meaningfully into his eyes. "She adores you."

Luke hadn't had a reply to that one. Lorelai knew she'd found her leverage and kept after him.

"Yah!" Lorelai cheered he eventually caved and agreed. "I can dress up as your elf."

"Wouldn't you be better as Mrs. Claus?" Luke suggested. "We are married after all."

"Ah, but you don't see Mrs. Claus when you go see Santa, only elves," Lorelai countered. "I don't want to wear all the padding anyway. I'll look fat. Anyway, I have a really cute idea for an elf costume that I think you'll really like," she said flirtatiously. "How about we make me Mrs. Santa's sister?"

He'd rolled his eyes at the suggestion and just gave up altogether. "Fine."

He was brought back to the present as she sighed and laid her head on his shoulder. He had to admit she looked a hell of a lot sexier than any elf he remembered. She had sewn a long red dress with white fur trim around the sleeves and the wide neckline that scooped down to a respectable level and around her shoulders. Even though it wasn't tight or form-fitting, it definitely accentuated her figure. The dress had slits around the lower half showing off her legs and she'd worn green tights underneath. Her ensemble also included a pair of red elf slippers, complete with jingle bells attached to the curled tips which were now jingling their way home. She wore green pointed hat and had curled her hair. She liberally applied sparkles to her hair, cheeks, shoulders and neck. She truly did look like an otherworldly creature.

"All the kids loved you," Lorelai said wistfully. She stroked his arm. "You were a natural, babe." She smiled at him tenderly. "And you thought it would be awkward."

"It was," he shot back, "when you let Kirk sit on my lap and tell me what he wanted for Christmas."

"But its Kirk," Lorelai said in her defense, her smile turning into a goofy grin. "You know he's just a big kid at heart."

"Fine," he conceded, his exasperation building, "but after that, did you have to let the women sit on my lap?"

Lorelai chuckled at the memory. "Equal time, hon."

"You realize every woman at that party lined up to sit on my lap?" Luke ranted. "Sookie? Babette? Miss Patty? I can't even repeat what she asked me for Christmas." A blush rose in his cheeks.

Lorelai giggled in delight. As much as she loved Luke, she enjoyed teasing him from time to time and this had been a golden opportunity. "Well, Santa usually gets all the girls."

Luke gave her a piercing stare. "Except the girl I really wanted on my lap," he whispered suggestively.

Lorelai snuggled into his shoulder shyly, her face flushed with pleasure. Luke always said the sweetest things. "I couldn't sit on your lap at the party. We both know what happens when I sit on your lap," she said matter-of-factly. "If I had, it would have turned into a whole other kind of party." She laughed out loud, "Boy, Patty would've had a field day with that! In more ways than one!

Luke shuddered at the thought and pulled away from her.

"You're still going home with me," Lorelai added mischievously. "You may still get some lap time if you're lucky Santa."

"Best offer, I've had all day," he smirked at her, pulling her close once again as they approached the house. He escorted her up the steps and unlocked the door, allowing her to precede him.

"Finally, I can take off this get-up," he said in relief as he tugged off the Santa hat.

"No!" Lorelai protested, stopping him. "Not yet! I thought I was going to get some lap time!"

"Do I have to wear the costume?" he asked, exasperated. "Its kind of counter-productive to what I have in mind."

"Trust me, it will be fine," she assured him. "Just sit on the couch over there near the tree. I'll be with you in a sec."

Luke blew out a breath, his endurance nearing an end. Lorelai patiently waited with an encouraging smile until he complied. When he did so, she turned on the tree and grabbed a drawstring sack and put it on the coffee table nearby.

"What's in there?" he questioned.

"Nothing," she said innocently, shrugging her shoulders. "Just a little something for my Santa."

"In other words, a big bag of weird," he teased. There was no telling what she had collected and though he was curious about the contents, he was willing to let the matter drop for now.

"So," she said sitting on his lap, "what do I want for Christmas?" she pondered. She looped her arms around his neck smiling into his blue eyes. Her gaze dropped to his lips. "Ya know, I think I have everything I want right here."

"But Rory isn't here," he reminded her. "She won't be until Christmas Eve."

"And April too," Lorelai added. Both girls would be there in a few days and even though she was looking forward to them all being together Christmas morning, right now, she preferred that it was just them. "But for right now, I only want the two of us, here alone."

Lorelai kissed him deeply savoring his mouth. After a minute, she drew back, her brow knitted. "I guess we'll have to re-think the beard," she allowed. She slipped off the hat and removed the wig and beard, stroking his face and the much-loved stubble. "Much better." She put the Santa hat back on.

"As long as we're making ourselves more comfortable," he offered, "we could get rid of the padding. Otherwise it might get in the way."

Lorelai contemplated the padded belly and had to admit he was right. "Allow me Santa." She deftly unfastened the big black belt before opening up the jacket and pulling it off. She slid her arms around his back to unfasten the strap that held the belly in place. She was tightly pressed up against him her arms barely reaching around with the added girth. Luke looked down at her upturned face pressed against his chest and leaned down to kiss her again.

"Hmmm," she murmured before returning to her task. She managed to get the strap undone and tugged the belly away. She hopped off his lap and jokingly held the belly up to her stomach, modeling it for him, turning from side to side and laughing at herself before dropping it to the floor. Luke extended a hand to help her situate herself again.

"Wait, we may as well take advantage of this," Lorelai stepped away and slipped her hands up under her dress sliding her tights off. Luke couldn't help but notice she had taken her panties off as well. Lorelai climbed onto his lap again straddling his thighs. She eased the suspenders that held the now-very baggy pants up off his shoulders and pulled up his t-shirt, drawing it over his head. "Better?"

"Yeah," he agreed as she stroked his bare chest. His hands lightly clasped her waist before sliding around and cupping her ass. She dove for his mouth again and they were caught up in another searing kiss, tongues deliciously twining, exploring each other's mouths as their breathing grew labored. He blindly tugged at the hem of her dress.

Luke gently eased her away from him and before she had a chance to give him a full-blown pout, his hand slipped under the dress and drew it up and off. Lorelai lowered her arms around his neck again, grinning at the lusty look in his eyes now that she was totally naked.

"Santa, I thought I was supposed to tell you what I wanted for Christmas," she purred throatily. She leaned forward and lightly rubbed her erect nipples against his bare chest. She felt Luke's heart rate pick up which only excited her more.

"Trust me you are," he assured her. His hand glided up along her satiny skin and up her torso. As he leaned her away from him, she arched her back, her head falling back. His breath caught as the colored lights from the tree caused the glitter dust on her body to sparkle enticingly. His mouth sank to that spot on her neck, the one he loved so much; the one that drove her crazy when he nibbled the sensitive area.

"Hmmm Santa," she sighed, surrendering herself to his whims. His lips traced a molten path down to warm, heavy breasts, her hardened nipples rising up. Her breath hitched in anticipation. She knew he wouldn't disappoint her and he didn't. His face hovered over one turgid nipple, his hot breath washing over her before he tugged it deeply into the heat of his mouth. His tongue swirled around her, once, twice, a third time then moving over to the other nipple.

"Luke." She pulled his head up to kiss him again letting him feel all the love and desire she had for him. She stroked his chest as she brushed kisses along his jaw line. She could feel his heart trip to a new rhythm as she allowed her hands to move caressingly down to his stomach. Her gaze dropped lower and she could see his erection rising up, tent-poling the baggy pants. She gave him a devilish grin as her fingers curled around the waistband of his pants and lifted it high enough so she could peek at what lay beneath.

"Just checking out what's under the big top," she told him impishly as he looked a query at her. She raised up slightly and clumsily worked the Santa pants and his boxers down past his knees. Luke shifted his body upward to make it easier for her. He could see she was determined to play out the scenario.

"We could go upstairs," he suggested trying to convince her. "Think of all the fun we could be having in bed."

"We're having fun right here, burger boy," she said as took up her former position on his lap. "I'm sure you'll make the most of it."

Luke's eyes glinted. "I'm sure I will."

Lorelai had been enjoying the way his hands explored her upper body, massaging her breasts, tweaking her nipples and was keenly aware when his fingers danced across her belly only to move lower. Her mouth dropped open and she shivered at the sensations his fingers evoked. He pulled her face towards his and kissed her trembling mouth. As he did so, his fingers slipped down between her lower lips with unerring accuracy and brushed her clit.

"Ohhhhh," she said shakily as she broke the kiss. "You are a very bad Santa."

Luke didn't verbally reply. He gave her the barest hint of a smile; his eyes locked with hers and she was caught, frozen, hypnotized by the heat of his gaze. His fingers continued their delicate ministrations. He rubbed, lightly stroked and massaged her, coaxing her body down a well-known path to paradise.

"Luke," she begged desperately, still unable to look away. He clearly wanted her to let go but she just as adamantly held back. She wanted him with her. Blindly, she reached for him, her fingers clutching his throbbing erection. She heard his sudden sharp intake of breath and knew he was just as affected by their play; that he was just as desperate to be inside her as she was to have him.

His fingers moved away from her clit and searched for her opening. He easily slipped his fingers inside her, testing her wetness, feeling her internal muscles leap and grab at his fingers urging them deeper. As he pulled his hand away she whimpered. His hand slid around to her ass.

"Lorelai," he said breathlessly, his free hand tenderly pushing her hair back only to curve around her neck and bring her down for another blistering kiss. With an ever-increasing passion, the kiss deepened. They savored each others mouths, all the while acutely aware that they were instinctively moving into position for that first delicious plunge.

They broke the kiss both seeing in the other's eyes that the time, their waiting, their teasing was at an end. Luke's hands spanned her waist and slowly brought her down on his pulsating shaft. As he drove into her more deeply, the pleasure and tremendous relief flowed between them. Lorelai leaned her forehead against his, her own shaky breathing mingling with his ragged breaths.

Once he was completely buried inside her, they paused, an unspoken request asked and answered and they luxuriated in an intimate moment, before surrendering to the onslaught of the coming storm.

Their movements were imperceptible at first. An almost tentative expanding thrust, a stealthy coil of muscles around his rigid flesh, then all too soon the dam broke and they surged together; his pounding strokes sending jolts of ecstasy searing through her body urging her aloft, her answering plunges enveloping him, drawing him up and out of this world with her.

The magic burst upon them, that incredible sensation of flying, of invincibility of complete and total declaration that confirmed what they already knew: that they truly were made for each other.

Lorelai clung to Luke, the only anchor in her reeling world. Her soft cries punctuating each spasm of delight as they coursed through her. Luke's voice blended with hers, his inarticulate groans reverberating through their bodies.

Slowly and oh-so-gradually they fluttered back to earth and reality. Their motion tapered off and finally ceased. Their frantic breathing smoothed out and was normal once again. They remained wrapped around each other, equally giving and taking comfort and support.

"Wow," Lorelai said finally, stunned at how incredible their coupling had been. She leaned back, removed the Santa hat and ran her fingers through his hair before cupping his cheek. "Thanks for giving me what I wanted for Christmas, Santa." She brushed a soft kiss on his lips.

Luke shook his head at her silliness. "Good thing I got this last wish out before hanging up my Santa hat."

Lorelai pulled away from him and repositioned herself so she was sitting across his lap. "You can't give it up now," she whined playfully. "What about next year? Won't it be something to play Santa to your own kid?"

"April is a little too old to be doing the Santa thing," Luke told her.

"I wasn't talking about April," Lorelai said quietly, watching him.

"Well Rory's even older than Ap—" his voice dwindled off and he stared at her. Suddenly, the happenings from the past few weeks coalesced in his mind. She'd been eating healthier, at least for her. She had cut back on her coffee intake.

Lorelai had been patiently waiting for him to put it all together. She felt a rush of love for him that he thought of Rory as his own. A lot of men didn't easily accept another man's child. Then again, a lot of other men weren't Luke.

"Lorelai?" he queried softly.

She gave him a gentle smile then reached for the drawstring bag, opened it and set a four-inch square box on her lap. It wasn't wrapped, just tied with a red bow.

Luke's hand trembled slightly as he reached for the box. He tugged open the ribbon and lifted the lid, his brain not comprehending what his eyes saw.

He lifted the small white baby booties out of the box. Beneath it he spied a stick-like object. He picked it up and saw the word "Pregnant" written on the display. He tore his eyes away from the word and looked into her eyes.

Lorelai observed him closely, trying to discern what he was feeling. As his gaze met hers, she saw the wonderment, the hope and the joy clearly written in his eyes. His eyes dropped. Slowly, almost reverently, he laid his hand on her belly. She responded by covering his hands with both of hers.

"When?" he managed to gulp out. He was short of breath.

"Halloween," she answered softly. "I knew that Elvira, Mistress of the Dark costume was a winner."

Luke said nothing. He continued to stare at their hands, joined and covering where his child lay.

"Are you happy about this baby?" Lorelai asked nervously. She was certain she had seen the joy in his eyes but he had yet to say anything about it.

Luke met her gaze squarely. "I am," he said honestly. "It's just…"

"What?"

"I've never been a parent from the very start," he confessed. "April was twelve when I met her. Rory was a little younger than that when I met you." She saw the doubts clouding his eyes. "I'm afraid I'll be a lousy parent. You know the whole jam hands thing."

Lorelai shook her head at him, an indulgent smile curving her lips. "You haven't been paying attention lately," she admonished him. "I've see you change the twins and feed Doula. Trust me, you are a natural."

"I've never had to do it with my own child before," he pointed out, fearing his lack of knowledge. "I don't know what to expect. You've been through this before."

"Yes, but with Rory I was alone," she told him. "I don't know what to expect either," she admitted. "Just because I've been through it once, doesn't mean its going to be the same this time. In fact, this time will definitely be different because I'll have you beside me…Dad."

She could feel the jolt of surprise at the new name she called him but he immediately relaxed. "We can do this," he stated with conviction.

'That's the spirit," she said rallying him on. "And just think about next year's Christmas party," she said painting a mental picture. "You, dressed as Santa, holding your son or daughter on your lap…" Her eyes grew bright at the thought of it.

"You're not playing fair," Luke protested. The image took shape in his brain and he realized he wanted to make it real. "Don't I get a say in this?"

Lorelai scooped the box and its contents off her lap and set them on the table before she stood up. She would re-package it again to so they could give it to April and Rory when they showed up for Christmas. She grabbed Luke's hand and tugged him to his feet. He looked down at the absurdity of the Santa pants and his boxers pooled around his boots. He grabbed them both, jerked them on and pulled the suspenders up over his shoulders as Lorelai donned his Santa cap.

"You want to have a say?" Lorelai asked teasingly as she took hold of the suspenders and led him to the stairs. "You can have a say once we go upstairs to bed."

"Huh," Luke grinned as he followed her up the steps, "this Santa gig has a lot of fringe benefits."

"Ho, ho, ho," Lorelai replied.

The End.

Merry Christmas!


End file.
